Swimming with Sharks.

I have never really shied away from talking of my disdain for nightclubs. Women dolled up to impress other women. Men skulk about sizing each other up in a constant state of leering. To me - and I get that other people are into that scene, just not me - it's just a big melting pot of flesh, roiling about in a broth of testosterone and fake tan, bad scene. But then a friend of mine told me his idea for one of the greatest social experiments I have ever heard...

"Every guy in the place gets into a huge fight and the winner gets the best looking girl in the place." This system gives birth to a pegging order being constructed by the only true form of assortment. Natural selection. The man should be crowned for devising this idea. Imagine the scene...

The gasps as the pretty boys go down first. The contrast of the rings of girls shuffling and dancing, lost in the music, oblivious to the carnage. The bass bins drown out the cracks and screams as the men beat the piss out of each other in the name of superiority. As you get knocked out you pair off with a tangible representation of your manliness. The further you get the more proud and idiotic your smile is as your arm is taken when you walk up to the bar.

When the last two settle there is no more need for squaring up. No measurement of your ability or false assumption of your place in the madness. No need for the term 'Out of your league', there is only one league and you have your place now. Everyone just knows the deal. The scene is suddenly perfect, devoid of all pretensions, and the fun would just detonate. The fight forgotten.

erm...

I put it somewhere smart but it seems I was a little too smart for me. Now I'm not sure which of those smarts I am...


...Bry

I save the day.

I saw a beautiful girl in the park the other day so while she wasn't looking, I took a picture of her dog. I've spent the last few days putting up 'Lost Puppy' posters all over town, using that same picture. So when some one steals her dog and brings it to me...

... I save the day.