A Calculator
Calculator Jim had a problem with sums
Particularly concerning the obvious ones
A tad worse for him than for me or for you
Considering that’s what he’s programmed to do
He cannot speak English or use any tools
He hasn’t got thumbs and can barely spell 58008
“A Masters in Science, that’s what I need”
To satisfy my intellectual greed.
Sellotape, Paper and Pencil chipped in
To send Calculator off to begin
Where everything started oh so long ago
Soon I’ll have software release 2.0
“Doctor!” Jim shouted. "The bugs in my head!"
I’ve tried hot, flat 7up and resting in bed
“I’ve replaced that old software you’ve since your youth
And had Lithium Battery installed to boot”
Back in the office Jim found himself work
Counting and crunching for all he was worth
Inverting and solving with Sin, Cos and Tan
As Professors dependable, Jim was the man
At times the Professor couldn’t calculate right
He’d scream at his students provoking a fight
A boy took offense to his rude agitation
Resulting in Professors defenestration
Jim fell and skidded and amid all the fuss
he met his demise ‘neath the wheel of a bus.
Bry
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